Drunk with Conclusions.

For some reason I feel rather self conscious right now. Is it really staying up so late that alters my moods and nerves so intensly? I just looked at the time and its about two hours later than I realized. I had wanted to read before sleeping but, that is out. I have the constant impulse to take artwork to school just to recieve praise and level out my playing field of equality among my peers. Does that make me arrogant? I don't want to be arrogant, I just want to be equal. Classes are filled with students of all age and experience, and I want to be a student who can acclaim the work he has done in the past to the students of the now in order to maybe attain friendliness and bonds of some sort. I also try to help out in class in anyway I can by maybe helping set up or clean up, giving feedback so the class doesnt have to, or by remaining silent when the teacher has finished a long tedious and overextensive speech upon which the class does not wish the subject to be followed any further. I do my part for society. Yet I ride the bus early each morning, always frozen in the remnants of midnights chill, alongside others who cope with it by burning their lungs or dosing up on a hot steaming cup of caffeine. I walk a block or two to classes passing dozens of faces I will never truly know. In class I will idle with students I will never meet again in most cases. Then, I go home. Passing more and more faces in the ecosystem of Philips Bubbleworld, the clouds always lift. The seas always part. The veil always falls. The curtains always rise. Every weekend I am in the company of familiars. Home. Loved ones. Trapped with no car, stranded in an island of brick walls and claustrophobic vacation, I squeeze out of the city smog into the house of monotony. I have one true comfort and she is not mine to own, but I am hers to love.

Yes.today

capo 3 C F Am G

yesterday, I saw a face, I hadn't seen, for fifteen years.
Yesterday, she came by my place, and said to me, are you still here?
Well I guess that I haven't changed
but she still knew my name
I guess things for me are the same
I still play games and hide from the rain.

Today she stopped by to see
whatever happened to me
She went away to walk the earth
But I remain here since my birth
I suppose everything had to go
the fear for love, for her to grow
I lost everyone that I know
Yet there she is, out my window.

For fifteen years, I lived in the dark
A broken corner a shattered heart
she said to me, please take my hand
I hope you can one day understand
and the joy of a child flooded in me
I saw the world in cleaner air
Smelt the freshness from the sea
I hope you forgive me
for giving up life
until you came back to me

bird

Today I looked out the window of the bus. And out of the window I saw a cluster of birds. And that cluster of birds sat perched on a wire. And upon looking at the cluster on the wire, one flew off. And I thought to myself that of all the birds in all the world of all the buses with all the people I happened to see this one. And of all the expressions I may have worn, I longed to be that bird that flew away into the sky. Somewhere in the world, a bird sat perched on a wire. This bird saw a busy road where he was looking for food. And of all the cars in all the world he saw a bus. And of all the windows on that bus he saw my window. And of all the people in that particular window he saw me. And of all the expressions carried by people he did not understand any of them, but he longed to be a person and flew off in despair.

combust

so much to do...the end is near. my head shall explode

Return to Revned

There is something about coming back to a one room apartment that lacks finess. Leaving the comforts of family company and the hospitable accomodations is one shame among many. The freedom of solitude however, is a positive and much needed respite.

Werewolphilip. system crash.

Much art must be done. If I have not posted any new art, ask me, bug me, pester me about it. Request a million ideas and you shall recieve at least one. Now I am off to feed my head and see what I can create. Unfortunately, the werewolf picture I created, became void with the crashing of my computer at the very end of making it. How inappropriate of my computer to destroy something so TOTALLY AWESOME! stupid computer. I keep hoping it will magically pop up somewhere because it was that awesome...unfortunately, not.

Bedbugs inhabit my bed. Phil them till they're dead.

Anytime someone tells another person that they have bed bugs, we always think of that ye olde motherly phrase "Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite." Then the lights go out and the child tingles with every sensation in his blanket, scared to death of every itch and wayward hair. But they have been a serious issue for many and now for me ever since I have moved to the city. It took me long enough, without knowing the right people to have suggestions from, but a remedy is on its way I hope. A whole week of vacationing and I came back the first night to doing battle in my own bed with twenty plus bed bugs unafraid of my open slaughtering spree. I did manage to read "number the stars" until 2 a.m. because of them, and I would rather read a good book than sleep, but responsibilities must be maintained. Now many may have heard of this but I find it intriguing to have discovered the information last night. Diatomaceous earth is basically dirt. But it's special dirt from fossils of seaplants that are microscopically sharp and slice any bugs body up that dares walk across it until it bleeds to death, or shred their insides if ingested. Humans and animals aren't really threatened by the soil. Wish me luck on my dirty adventure. If this blog is deleted, we will all know the defeat I have yet again suffered.